As Democrats switch gears from despondency to resistance following Donald Trump’s victory in the US Presidential election, many are turning their attention to ways in which they may bolster the judiciary as the ultimate bulwark against Trump’s authoritarian tendencies.

As part of this effort, many have called on the liberal US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who is currently 70, to retire promptly so that the Biden administration can replace her with a younger candidate unlikely to retire during the Trump presidency.

It has now been revealed that the Biden administration has been the impetus behind the calls, which have mostly come from low-profile party members. The administration had hoped the idea would receive strong support among the Party’s rank and file, leading top Democrats to eventually jump on the bandwagon. However, to the administration’s dismay, the campaign failed to garner sufficient support among the Party’s base and was rejected by the Party’s elite.

The final nail in the coffin for the Biden administration’s hopes of building public support for Sotomayor’s retirement without being visibly connected to the campaign was driven home when Democratic superstar Senator Bernie Sanders branded the idea as “not the sensible approach.”

Sotomayor has also declared that she has no intention of resigning.

The lack of support for the position among the Party’s heavy hitters has forced President Joe Biden, who views appointing a Supreme Court Justice as a sure shot way of guaranteeing his re-election after Trump’s last term in office, to openly entice Sotomayor into retirement. Biden’s approach seems targeted at currying favour with Bernie Sanders as well.

Today, the Biden administration announced that if Sotomayor were to resign before the end of the month, it would officially change the name of the Court to “Sotomayor’s Old Joint” and the candidate to replace her will be required to change their name to “Soto 2.0.” Shortly after the announcement, a well-placed source within the administration also “leaked” that the administration’s top choice for Sotomayor’s replacement is a yet-to-be-delivered foetus that springs from close relatives of Senator Bernie Sanders.

“It is currently the settled view among Democrats that Sanders, who has now entered his 35th year in the US Congress, embodies the optimal genes for a career as a public advocate for liberal causes. He is recognised as the ultimate champion of liberal issues on both sides of the aisle, and even at 83 years of age, he has retained the mental acuity and capacity to withstand a robust work schedule that he had displayed as a political activist in his early twenties,” the source added.

The Biden administration is confident that if their coup comes to fruition, they will secure a solid progressive voice in the Court for the next eight to nine decades.