Addressing Donald Trump’s triumph in the recent US Presidential Election during a press conference, an uncharacteristically morose Victorian Premier, Jacinta Allan, remarked that the event had proven to be a “transformative” experience for her.
Allan stated that the election result had defied much of what she had learned about people and politics from her mentor, former Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews. Andrews, one of the most prominent and impactful Victorian politicians of all time, is recognised worldwide for demonstrating how a purportedly liberal democratic government may exploit the ignorance and credulity of its citizens by capriciously subjecting them to unjustifiably oppressive measures over a prolonged period, while enriching itself through rampant corruption.
Daniel Andrews Postulated the “Fuck It! Who Else Will They Vote For?” Philosophy of Governance, Based on the Findings of the Andrews Experiment
The prerequisite conditions for a successful demonstration of the Andrews Experiment are as follows:
- The citizenry’s acceptance of a purported life-threatening calamity from which they must be saved;
- The government successfully misrepresenting to the citizenry that it is exclusively driven by an ardent desire to look after their well-being; and
- An opposition in disarray, composed of contemptible figures advocating offensive policies.
“What we are observing here is that a combination of sustained public resentment and distrust of the governing party, together with the presence of remarkable—even if detestable—characters in the opposition party, can change the dynamic such that the citizenry, realising that they are doomed either way, may simply kick the governing party out for the sake of the amusement offered by the scamps in the opposition.”
“Hopefully, Pesutto won’t develop a personality for another couple of years, and the mental harm we’ve inflicted upon Victorians will compromise their ability to recall all our scandals and fiascos in two years,” Allan muttered as she stared into blank space.
